So now we’re in a Rishi Sunak Choose Your Own Adventure book.
If you’d like a summer election, turn to page 57. If you’d like a winter election, turn to page 233.
Page 57: The election happens and you lose. Badly. The woke Labour Party repeals your bill. Your party and the media gets to spend the next five years blaming every small boat crossing on Labour having torn up your plans, without even having to see how effective they would have been. Although by this point, you don’t really care anyway, because you have a lucrative job in the USA. The end.
Page 233: Flights to Rwanda don’t take off due to repeat threats of legal action. So you spend several months threatening to leave the ECHR. This doesn’t save you from losing the election, but it does dent Labour’s lead and serve to further toxify discussions around asylum and migration. Although by this point, you don’t really care anyway, because you have a lucrative job in the USA. The end.
This is a national day of shame. I’ve never felt more angry, ashamed and powerless as I do today. I was in tears listening to callers about this on James O’Brien’s show this morning. What have we become? They have truly fucked our country and all those who respected our fairness and our rule of law. Why would anyone want to cooperate with us ever again?
Not only will it not work, but there is absolutely no talk of what will happen to the 99% who won’t be taken to a foreign hellhole but will be left to rot here instead, with no prospect of an asylum claim being considered, no hope to a life, of work or the freedom they came here to seek. More and more taxpayers money will be shovelled at detention centres run by friends of the Tories and their donors, while our national soul is besmirched and countless lives are ruined. In the name of what? A few squalid votes. For shame.
How dare you suggest that Larry would have anything to do with him? As if Sunak would have any idea how to associate with a cat. Pfft. There's no profit in caring for a pet, so it would just confuse him!
I agree with every word apart from about Larry. If he did get hold of him, I hope Larry lashed out and left him with permanent scars to remind him of this day for life.
"So that's how it happened: some of the most marginalised people on earth, who once thought this country a safe haven, will be forcibly sent to an unsafe dictatorship while a multimillionaire and his colleagues toast their suffering" What can you even say this is beyond repugnant it makes me shudder to the core the only comfort as you say mate is this won't work and like this horrible repulsive lie of a bill the planes to take the most vulnerable people to this wretched place will not get off the ground. No air line will support this, every lefty do gooder as they retort will quite rightly fight tooth and nail to protect those unfortunate souls unlucky enough to be caught in this despicable mess. And then what? A big bloody lesson learned I hope that this horrific law bending populist (albeit ironically under a criminally unpopular prime minister) nonsense serves no purpose and is un ethical, inhumane and horrifically expensive. This is the nasty tory party at their worst but the lack of formidable opposition is also palpable. Its truly a dark day.
Interesting how supporters of this reprehensible legislation seem incapable of putting their shoe on the other foot where they become the subject of deportation / transportation to an alien land about where they know nothing & for a trumped up "offence" of seeking asylum.
In another era the offence would have been stealing a loaf of bread & finding themselves heading to Australia. Ironic really as the rotten Tory Rwanda plan likely originated there.
The government is revealed as a bunch of c…ts (a word you celebrated recently). May they be ousted in large numbers at the election- I think Sunak is going to go for a summer gamble now.
Just one beautiful child to point out, in a way that simply cannot be ignored, the utter bankruptcy of the Rwanda bill and the sheer, stark-bollock nakedness of the Government that created it.
My suggestion fwiw: a casual PMQs request to know when the first reciprocal refugees will arrive from Rwanda, as agreed by Govt, in what will then be the Rwanda Law.
For my money, rosy-cheeked cherub Angela Rayner would be perfect in the role:)
So now technology can serve up realistic audio of Ian Dunt reading his own column – but only in a manner that’s so flat it suggests he’s being forced to do so against his will, hence the removal of all personality from his voice, along with any ability to swear.
Although still sounds like zombie/dead inside/bored robot Ian. (Honestly, I find this use case of ‘AI’ very strange and troubling as well. It’s good that people literally losing their voices might be able to use it in some way. It’s not good that people’s voices are being used without their consent, even if in this case Fake Ian is speaking Real Ian’s actual words, in a manner that comes across like Ian’s been spliced with Marvin from Hitchhiker’s Guide.
For the record - and because people sometimes raise this - I totally did OK this for every article. Hearing the first one was definitely a strange experience.
Fair enough. So it’s with your consent and that’s good to hear. And at least we now know what Interloper Robot Ian Clone will sound like when you’ve locked in a cupboard by some evil mastermind hell bent on limiting the outreach of woke lefty liberal writers. Or something.
All this hatred and pain. All this flogging of what tiny bit of respect the UK might have had left. And by the son of an immigrant! We should through him and his whole family out for defiling this country. Vacuous little jug-eared twat that he is. There is no justice in this world that people like him are obscenely rich and the rest of us are worried sick about how we will survive our older years.
Just to be paranoid: could this work for Sunak? I mean, a few flights take off and the right wing press claim victory. This could be countered with continuous reports of huge numbers of people still turning up, but that’s not quite the look the Guardian would go for. Maybe it’s not enough to win, but, Ok, this is what being paranoid looks like.
I think you’re too understanding of the Lords, if they can’t stand up to this they will deserve to be abolished.
Is it possible abolishing the Lords and leaving a single chamber might lead to the Commons being a bit more thoughtful in what they pass? No, fair enough, probably not.
But if Labour think the Tory peers will play nice under the newly-minted convention you describe I think they’re bring hopelessly naive too.
Watching Michael Tomlinson my own MP, defend this Rwandan Policy the other day on breakfast tv made me feel profoundly depressed. It’s stained us as a country. The news of the five deaths of refugees breaking as he was speaking gave it an even greater significance and he barely paused for breath with his monologue of bullshit. All I’ve been able to do is make sure I have my voter ID ready and while I’m waiting I tune out these bastards. I can’t stand it. It’s utterly sickening.
So now we’re in a Rishi Sunak Choose Your Own Adventure book.
If you’d like a summer election, turn to page 57. If you’d like a winter election, turn to page 233.
Page 57: The election happens and you lose. Badly. The woke Labour Party repeals your bill. Your party and the media gets to spend the next five years blaming every small boat crossing on Labour having torn up your plans, without even having to see how effective they would have been. Although by this point, you don’t really care anyway, because you have a lucrative job in the USA. The end.
Page 233: Flights to Rwanda don’t take off due to repeat threats of legal action. So you spend several months threatening to leave the ECHR. This doesn’t save you from losing the election, but it does dent Labour’s lead and serve to further toxify discussions around asylum and migration. Although by this point, you don’t really care anyway, because you have a lucrative job in the USA. The end.
Spot on dude, sadly
This is a national day of shame. I’ve never felt more angry, ashamed and powerless as I do today. I was in tears listening to callers about this on James O’Brien’s show this morning. What have we become? They have truly fucked our country and all those who respected our fairness and our rule of law. Why would anyone want to cooperate with us ever again?
Not only will it not work, but there is absolutely no talk of what will happen to the 99% who won’t be taken to a foreign hellhole but will be left to rot here instead, with no prospect of an asylum claim being considered, no hope to a life, of work or the freedom they came here to seek. More and more taxpayers money will be shovelled at detention centres run by friends of the Tories and their donors, while our national soul is besmirched and countless lives are ruined. In the name of what? A few squalid votes. For shame.
How dare you suggest that Larry would have anything to do with him? As if Sunak would have any idea how to associate with a cat. Pfft. There's no profit in caring for a pet, so it would just confuse him!
(Apart from that, crackin as always)
I agree with every word apart from about Larry. If he did get hold of him, I hope Larry lashed out and left him with permanent scars to remind him of this day for life.
"So that's how it happened: some of the most marginalised people on earth, who once thought this country a safe haven, will be forcibly sent to an unsafe dictatorship while a multimillionaire and his colleagues toast their suffering" What can you even say this is beyond repugnant it makes me shudder to the core the only comfort as you say mate is this won't work and like this horrible repulsive lie of a bill the planes to take the most vulnerable people to this wretched place will not get off the ground. No air line will support this, every lefty do gooder as they retort will quite rightly fight tooth and nail to protect those unfortunate souls unlucky enough to be caught in this despicable mess. And then what? A big bloody lesson learned I hope that this horrific law bending populist (albeit ironically under a criminally unpopular prime minister) nonsense serves no purpose and is un ethical, inhumane and horrifically expensive. This is the nasty tory party at their worst but the lack of formidable opposition is also palpable. Its truly a dark day.
Interesting how supporters of this reprehensible legislation seem incapable of putting their shoe on the other foot where they become the subject of deportation / transportation to an alien land about where they know nothing & for a trumped up "offence" of seeking asylum.
In another era the offence would have been stealing a loaf of bread & finding themselves heading to Australia. Ironic really as the rotten Tory Rwanda plan likely originated there.
Quite right!
Thank you, great piece.
The government is revealed as a bunch of c…ts (a word you celebrated recently). May they be ousted in large numbers at the election- I think Sunak is going to go for a summer gamble now.
All it takes is a little boy or girl.
Just one beautiful child to point out, in a way that simply cannot be ignored, the utter bankruptcy of the Rwanda bill and the sheer, stark-bollock nakedness of the Government that created it.
My suggestion fwiw: a casual PMQs request to know when the first reciprocal refugees will arrive from Rwanda, as agreed by Govt, in what will then be the Rwanda Law.
For my money, rosy-cheeked cherub Angela Rayner would be perfect in the role:)
Reading of this article in Ian's voice:
https://askwhocastsai.substack.com/p/rwanda-a-day-of-shame-by-ian-dunt
So now technology can serve up realistic audio of Ian Dunt reading his own column – but only in a manner that’s so flat it suggests he’s being forced to do so against his will, hence the removal of all personality from his voice, along with any ability to swear.
Oh, it swears just fine 😄.
https://open.substack.com/pub/askwhocastsai/p/cunted-on-good-friday-by-ian-dunt
Although still sounds like zombie/dead inside/bored robot Ian. (Honestly, I find this use case of ‘AI’ very strange and troubling as well. It’s good that people literally losing their voices might be able to use it in some way. It’s not good that people’s voices are being used without their consent, even if in this case Fake Ian is speaking Real Ian’s actual words, in a manner that comes across like Ian’s been spliced with Marvin from Hitchhiker’s Guide.
For the record - and because people sometimes raise this - I totally did OK this for every article. Hearing the first one was definitely a strange experience.
Fair enough. So it’s with your consent and that’s good to hear. And at least we now know what Interloper Robot Ian Clone will sound like when you’ve locked in a cupboard by some evil mastermind hell bent on limiting the outreach of woke lefty liberal writers. Or something.
All this hatred and pain. All this flogging of what tiny bit of respect the UK might have had left. And by the son of an immigrant! We should through him and his whole family out for defiling this country. Vacuous little jug-eared twat that he is. There is no justice in this world that people like him are obscenely rich and the rest of us are worried sick about how we will survive our older years.
Just to be paranoid: could this work for Sunak? I mean, a few flights take off and the right wing press claim victory. This could be countered with continuous reports of huge numbers of people still turning up, but that’s not quite the look the Guardian would go for. Maybe it’s not enough to win, but, Ok, this is what being paranoid looks like.
I think you’re too understanding of the Lords, if they can’t stand up to this they will deserve to be abolished.
Is it possible abolishing the Lords and leaving a single chamber might lead to the Commons being a bit more thoughtful in what they pass? No, fair enough, probably not.
But if Labour think the Tory peers will play nice under the newly-minted convention you describe I think they’re bring hopelessly naive too.
Watching Michael Tomlinson my own MP, defend this Rwandan Policy the other day on breakfast tv made me feel profoundly depressed. It’s stained us as a country. The news of the five deaths of refugees breaking as he was speaking gave it an even greater significance and he barely paused for breath with his monologue of bullshit. All I’ve been able to do is make sure I have my voter ID ready and while I’m waiting I tune out these bastards. I can’t stand it. It’s utterly sickening.
The Tories are a bunch of cunts. That's a given. But now everyone knows that Labour are a bunch of cunt enablers. 🙄